Footage

9th June

I haven't danced since, ah, the weekend before this one gone, perhaps? I've been busy; the week is studded with a trip to Cambridge, then a weekend in Berlin. But the last time I did dance - yes, it was last weekend - I danced with my teacher and my friend filmed it. I don't like being filmed; I don't like pictures of myself. It's a natural consequence of generic dysmorphia and poor body image and consuming too much fashion media for the last decade or so. But whatever - in dance it can be useful, and maybe even nice. Plus, I'm dancing with my teacher, so probably look as good dancing as I'm likely to, in the sense that dancing with someone with impeccable technique makes it easier to bring your best technique, too. When I first watched this video I was pleasantly surprised by how okay I looked; looking at it again this morning I was underwhelmed and a little disappointed, but maybe it's not so bad. And why am I putting it here? I don't know… maybe it's nice to ground 80,000 words with a little media. And a type of honesty, too. I've danced tango quite obsessively for three and a half years now, and learned as rapidly and rabidly as I can, and I still basically resemble a gothic pool noodle dancing it. And I still have partners who love dancing with me, even though I look like this dancing. Isn't it good.